Three years ago today, our lives changed forever. Our hopes and dreams of having a “normal” child was crushed!
- Being told your child has cancer is the one of the worst things a parent can hear, nonetheless about your first-born child!
- Being told that your child may not survive.
- Being told, “I’m sorry, there’s not much we can do.”
- Being told that what you have waited for all your life could quite possibly be taken away from you at any moment.
Yes, Logan is doing A-M-A-Z-I-N-G but that doesn’t mean it’s easy…. that doesn’t mean I (we) don’t long for normalcy.
While we agree that there is no such thing as normal when your child is born with (diagnosed with) a life-threatening illness…you long for what you can’t and may never have.
We firmly believe (and so does Logan’s medical team) he will catch up. It’s still very hard when your child doesn’t reach the “normal” milestones. Walking, talking, eating, saying “mommy” or “daddy,” asking for a snack, playing cars or blocks or playing house and making breakfast in a play kitchen or even helping in the real kitchen. These things haven’t happened and as much as they may never happen, we try to stay as positive and focused on the good as much as we can. So, when a special needs parent longs for normal, saying there’s no such thing as normal is not a response we want to hear.
My favorite part of this journey so far, besides Logan surviving and kicking cancers ass, of course, is that he is walking……in fact, running! I love when people say “look at him go” or “he has you on your toes” or “run, Bubba, run.” Then I look at them and say “and they told me he would never walk.”
I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason but sometimes, I want to be able to just go to work and come home and make dinner and have my family eat it together or pick up and go to the park and not have to worry about when Logan’s feeing time is or if he’s going to hit someone because he can’t communicate well. We are currently (still) fighting NYSED and the Board of Nursing to get him fed properly at school. I know he chose us to be his parents for a reason. It’s a constant battle!!!!
I know we are meant to help him overcome his delays and these obstacles that are constantly thrown at us but boy…. it’s exhausting! So exhausting, I really don’t have much to post about tonight. Plus, the time change and a toddler is so much fun…NOT.
So, I’m signing off. That’s my quick three-year diagnosis post.
And as I was just about to post this, Logan got sick….2nd time today…UGH!
Thank you all for your continued love and support!